Sunday, September 10, 2006
Tired...but i'm happy ;D really i'm..i've never felt so light and free for such a long time...until the past 2wks..when pastor was preaching about emotion baggages..affairs of the heart..healing of old hurts and wounds and the inner vows that we made during our childhood...We all carry emotion baggage and sometimes we might not even notice them...all the old emotional wounds and hurts that we carry from all the past relationships..the fear and insecurities that we have inside of us..the unhealthy feelings and thoughts that always made me emo and upset..i gave it all to him during svc..i no longer wana feel the insecurity that i always have inside me..the fear of being rejected..the fear of being looked down on..the fear of just doing not enough...the fear that i am not the best..the fear that i was never good enough for anyone.....
when pastor prayed for us during svc and last night during cg when i was being ministered to, at that moment, I cried and poured out all that is left on the inside of me..i release all my hurts and disappointments to him..it was hard..it was really hard to pour out everything in me..i kept crying and crying..it had been a hard time going through everything..all the sorrows and heartbreaks..all the late nights and politics at work..all the stress of rushing project datelines and backstabbing..the betrayal of a trusted friend..the fear of losing everything i have..but i know god heals the brokenhearted...god forgives..again and again without fail..and he heals and he heals and he heals...and for the very 1st time..i can feel his presense inside me..overwhelming me and i know deep inside me..i have receive healing from him..i no longer felt unless and disappointed and dismayed by my situations..my circumstances..and i know i'll never be the same again..I told myself that I have cried enough, and it's time to move on...to a bigger dream and destiny that he has for me..
2:32:00 AM
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
"A friend comforts you when you are down, supports you when you struggle, and celebrates when you succeed. But a BEST friend feels pain when you are hurt and holds you as you cry together, walks with you every step as you struggle, and rejoices with you at every success."
"Life is filled with happiness, sadness, tears, smiles, laughter and other emotions but when life gets you down, just be strong about it and keep your head up high and have faith in all things in life. Always remember: God is at your side, always."
"Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if I wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."
"There are some things in life that don't go the way you want them to or the way you think they should, but you can't dwell on these because you'll miss out on other opportunites. Don't give up one something just because you don't think things will work, you won't know unless you give it a try. But don't hold onto something that left a long time ago, because sooner or later you'll realize some things just aren't meant to be."
~i lurve myself more than anyone else..i lurve my God..i lurve my dad & mummy..i lurve all the pretty things and those that blingz..i lurve all my great frens..i lurve my 2 besties..and their understand bfs for sharing them wif me as well..i lurve watermelon..and i still lurve you but this would be the very last day i'll cry for you..nvr again will my tears fall for you again..if there were any hopes in my heart of us patching up the past few mths..it wld all have been shattered and broken by now....i accept you as who u're..i know u'll be much happier being with ur own kind..i know and i understand and i pray that you will always remember me as ur very 1st and last gurlfren who really tried did her best to be the best she could be..the one that you are looking for....even though she didn't manage to soften ur heart in e end..she really gave you her everything at that every moment when she says i do..there are many ppl out there that still cares for her and lurve her..even though you're no longer ard..life still goes on for her..but things will nvr be the same again..she will nvr easier trust a guy again..she will never give her heart away so freely again..she will need a very long time to give in her best in any relationships again..she have had enough of bastards and gays..she is happy with her life now..at least she thinks she is ..flings are not her type..womanizers aren't also..rich men aren't also..old men and gays are defintely out of the way also..busy working and successful men? maybe she will look out for that again..but honestly..just a normal average one that truely lurves her will do..she is patiently waiting for her prince again..God knows..i give all my disappointments and sorrow to you..give me a renew heart and renew my mind..erase all the images of him and us..~
1:01:00 AM
The Gurl
