The Gurl

yanting aka ngaingai
♥ to play around
♥ to travel
♥ to nap
♥ to just daydream about the future

taiwan trip
a job she loves
an office sleek bag
PSP slim
someone
lets go to the ZoO
a veggie to match my carrot
updated @ 5th December 07

Connections

Looking Back

# 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
# 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
# 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
# 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
# 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
# 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
# 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
# 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
# 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
# 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
# 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
# 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
# 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
# 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
# 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
# 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
# 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
# 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
# 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
# 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
# 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
# 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
# 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
# 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
# 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
# 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
# 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
# 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
# 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
# 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
# 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
# 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
# 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
# 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
# 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
# 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
# 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
# 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
# 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
# 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
# 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
# 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
# 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
# 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
# 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
# 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
# 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
# 04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
# 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
# 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009

The Applause

Designer: Siew Min
Basecodes: theBENDANs
Inspirations: Sandra Agnes Maggie Vanessa
Materials: x x x
Image Edits: Paint Tools

Monday, May 29, 2006

- Still Unable to Feel -

Still not sleeping on my bed.
Still crying myself to rest.
Still not able to smile fully.
Still in pain and hurt.

Unable to clear your gifts.
Unable to stop my thoughts.
Unable to get you out of my head.
Unable to feel joy and happiness.

Feeling like a machine.
Feeling emotion-less.
Feeling so alien to my ownself.
Feeling abandoned and cold.

Shivering in the night
Is the only human thing left.
Can't cry; Can't laugh.
Emotions has forsaken me.

"I will be fine."The four simple words that acts as a mask to my emotions to you.. The only assurance that you've given me through out ..that you know i'll be fine..someday..one day..long after u're gone.. I'm not crying..I cant find anyway to express my sadness and hurt..i cant even cry out loud..i lost my tears somewhere.. It has never been my wish to make you feel guilty or bad. My wish has always only been this and that's for you to be happy always and to remember me as the gurl that could brighten up your day even though she couldn't brighten up hers..

Saturday, May 27, 2006

i still miss him..i really do miss him..i can cry for nothing...my tears just falls without reason now..i really feels like giving up and leave this place..

i'm lost..once again..haiz..i tried my best to distract myself by setting up summerbloomz, by spending all my free time making new accessories other than working..but it's just not working..i still miss him...even more when i saw him at GWC..friends told me that the best way to move on is to just find someone new..i've thought about it but i certainly doesn't want a rebound now..so i gave up on that idea..haha..and my one and only fling in my history suggest a patch back with him to be flings in order for me to move on and forget about ym..haha..how pathetic can i be..haiz..i'm not gonna fall on that neither..all i want is to be as happy and cheery as before..is to have someone to care for me like before..i miss the feeling of being cared for..and i just dun wana get it from anyone but only the one who is gonna stay with me for a long long long time......and loves me for who i'm...

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Do visit US at www.summerbloomz.blogspot.com for more of these homemade accessories!! Happy ShoppinG @ SummErBLooMz!

Monday, May 15, 2006

A colleague e-mailed me this...thanks..you may look cool at work but i know u secretly listen to our gossips huh..haha..anyway, i get to know a new friend today..she's from cebu..and she is really a nice lady working in the finance dept now..hope to learn more from her the next 5 weeks..cheers!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

we gave up...our problems are really too big for us to solve or rather i cant force myself to be with a guy that doesn't love me..and he cant force himself to be with a girl that cant meet up to his expectations..i dont know how to express my emotions verbally but i know i'm sad..truely sad..but i know i'll move on somehow..like what my mummy says..wo shi qu de zhi shi yi ge bu ai wo de ren dan ta shi qu de que shi yi gen sheng ai zhe ta de ren...there is no right or wrong in a realationship...we both did tried hard to put in effort..or i force myself to believe that he did really tried..but somehow..things still doesn't work out in the end..our differences are still too big that we really have no common ground to reach an agreement..however, i still thank him for everything..i still learn alot from him..he makes me realise feelings can really just comes and goes..but i know i cant possible go back to being friends with him..i cant..it hurts too much..maybe i'll feel better after blogging..after everything..i'll let go and give up..i'm starting a brand new journey alone..but alone this time..there are so many things that i need to do to move on..maybe i'm lying to myself...but my mummy says as long as i will feel better..she will always support me..

i wana

• change a new phone..it brings back too much photos memories..
• cut and dye my hair again..a brand new colour that he thinks its too bright for him to take it
  
• tidy up my room..pack away all the memories and photos..throw away all the flowers and gifts..
• get some new flowers to replace those that i've thrown so that my vase would not be empty
  
• learn and pick up a new skill..
• work work work...keep myself busy..
• change my bedsheet colours to a brighter one..
• pamper myself...no one loves me more than i do..
  

anyway, sorry guys that you guys are not able to go wala indirectly becos of me..thanks ning for accompanying me last nite and forgoing your night out..i really appreciated it..i really do..at least i know i have still have you girls..thanks adeline, david, kor, jimmy and zhifeng..sorry for making you guys worry..i'll be ok...give me some time k..

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Monday, May 01, 2006

Does anyone enjoy reading "Love Is..." Comics when they were young..i remember i use to look out for it on the sunday times every week last time..love is everything that a person need to hold on and i dont only mean ur other half/partner, but also the love of your parents, friends and basically all the people around you..what would you do without their care and love..everyone needs somebody to love them...dun deny anymore...everyone needs a warm hug time to time..a word of encouragement from time to time and just someone to be there and drop little hints here and there that they are still being loved in this world..but for now..i just wana be alone..or i have had too much of a disappoinment that i need to be alone..does anyone knows how far is sydney from here? no matter what u're doing now..i send you my blessings..for what love is..

love is..
... two people sharing something special.
... a song in your heart.
... showing you care in so many little ways.
... being understanding, not demanding.
... when you presence is needed more than your presents.
... dieting with her to make it easier for her.
... the bit in between all the problems.
... the key to a stable relationship.
... being a good listener when you've got your own troubles.
... making sure she takes her vitamins.
... holding onto your dream.
... being understanding when you're shown a bad report.
... someone to share those special moments with.
... remembering that everyone is entitled to their views.
... Not always telling her what to do and how to do it
... living today so tomorrow is full of happy memories.

What is love to you?
http://loveis.dreamstation.com/