The Gurl

yanting aka ngaingai
♥ to play around
♥ to travel
♥ to nap
♥ to just daydream about the future

taiwan trip
a job she loves
an office sleek bag
PSP slim
someone
lets go to the ZoO
a veggie to match my carrot
updated @ 5th December 07

Connections

Looking Back

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# 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
# 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009

The Applause

Designer: Siew Min
Basecodes: theBENDANs
Inspirations: Sandra Agnes Maggie Vanessa
Materials: x x x
Image Edits: Paint Tools

Saturday, December 03, 2005

I feel so sad all of a sudden after knowing ur last decision girl..i dont know why but my heart hurts..maybe i'm being emotional again..maybe i have gone thru the phrase of life that u're going through now..But i know matters of the heart can only be decide by both parties themselves..the route is theirs to decide, to walk..to path..letting go of your loved one is hard..but if there is no better solution then you just have to do it for the benefit of both parties..for the future..i've learn that people changes..feelings come and goes..be glad that it was once urs..there were once sparkz and moments of love..yup..

Sometimes we try too hard in a relationship to make it work out..as in we do so much for the other person and yet it's always taken for granted, or the concern we get isn't as much as we showed the other person...is it because it was never meant to be together in the 1st place..or is it because of the wrong place, wrong timing or that we met the wrong person thus hurting both parties in the process..i dont know..i used to be so optimistic and positive about love..about relationships and friendships...but as i grow up..i become more cynical about love after being hurt again and again..i begun to lose trust in the people around me now..i'm so afraid of being hurt now that i start to redraw from my closest sometimes..i need my confidence back..but i know i'm building on it..

i know i can be as independent as i used to be when i was single..i can be optimistic and cheerful like before i met edric...before i was hurt by the reality of life..i'm learning not to rely on him so much..learning to settle my own things, my own bills..do my own shopping..plan my own schedule..make decisions for myself for small things without his help everytime..i realise we are so different from each other after the trip..what we expect of each other differs also..he is looking for a sensible, mature and independent gurl but i'm looking for someone that i can depend and rely on..i know i can be childish, childlike, stubborn, whiny at times but that's all that makes me unique..and you're independent, sensible, mature in your thinking and stable..and that's what makes you so special..i hope we are able to get through this barrier and compromise somehow..nobody ever says its easy to maintan a relationship..it sure needs more than just love..but lots of effort, time, understanding and compromising..you always says i think too much...maybe i do..maybe i should learn to be like you..always clear my mind..and dont hold on to things that bothers or hurt me..maybe i need more assurance from you..i still feels so insecured sometimes..but you're right..there is no perfect one in this world..there will always be somebody better out there and you are not looking for the best but just one that you feels comfortable and happy with...just so simple and sweet..i still have lots to learn in the coming yr i guess..

Things to learn for 2006
- To love and pamper myself more
- To occupy myself during the weekends
- To be more optimistic and positive looking
- Always wanted to make my own jewelleries..
- Learn to be more independent
- Learn that having personal time is impt in a relationship
- That ppl do let us down from times to times and we just to let it go and move on
- That he still cares for me no matter how busy he is
- That absence really will make the heart fonder
- That i still have a group of close frens that will stick by me always i hope..
- Learn to be myself...to move on..learn not to think too much..clear my mind when i'm upset..

Give me some time..thing will never be the same after this big fall..i'm going through a new phrase in my life...starting school soon..going back for treatments..going back to working part time..to spend quality time with my close ones..to just be happy and cheerful in the "growing up" process..i know u're waiting for me to grow up..i know its ur way of letting me know as long as i'm happy, u'll be willing to give me the time to bloom from a protected girl to be the lady that you're looking for =) till then..love me now for who i'm k..